I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me
a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
Hi. I'm home right now, I'm just screening
my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with
I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say?
Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but
if you leave your name and number, I'll be
right with you.
suicide hotline please hold
Jan's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please
speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of
You have reached 555-2435. We picked this
machine up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition. You can
try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded.
If we don't return your call, it means the machine did not work.
Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective
Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the
tone, please hang up.
Hi, I'm sorry I can't answer the phone
right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call
Hi. If you are a burglar, checking to see if anyone
is home, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now
and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and
it's safe to leave us a message.
I'm only here in spirit at the moment,
but if you'll leave your name and number, I will get back to you as
soon as I'm here in person.
This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave
your you-know-what and we'll get back you-know-when.