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Answering
Machine
Hi,
you've reached __'s answering machine. ___ isn't home right now,
but whatever you have to say to him, you can tell me. We're VERY
close
and we tell each other everything.
(woman taped off a "phone sex" service)
WOMAN : (seductively) Hi. I'm
Linda. You know, it can be really lonely when you're a fashion model.
Sometimes I just have to ... YOU : (interrupting) Oh c'mon, Linda,
give
me the damn phone... (then ask for a message)
You
have reached the number which you have dialled.
I can't come to the phone now, so if, well,
actually, I CAN come to the
phone now, I mean, like, I'm at the phone NOW, recording this message,
but I'm doing this NOW, while you're listening to it LATER, except
for
you I guess it's NOW, like, when you're listening to it... I mean,
like, wait, gosh. This is so confusing. |
|
Hi,
this is you know who and I'm not you know where, so please leave a
message after you know what.
You've reached the home of the greatest psychic
on earth. Since I
already know who you are and why you've called, please hang up after
the beep tone.
Hi, you know the drill.
Hello? (short pause) Hellooo? (Waits again) Helloooo
- Who is this?
(After a final short pause) Well, whatever, I'm not home anyways, so
please leave a message after the beep.
"Speak, worm!" (beep) Works best if done in a Darth Vader
voice.
Just put on a recording of a busy signal.
The number you have dialled, 1-2-3-4-5-6-7 is no longer in service,
the
new number is 1-2-3-4-5-6-7 (exact same number). -- try getting some
voice synth software, that way, it sounds even more like
the phone company.
>>more
answering machine
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