Answering Machine

hi you've reached the home of (name) also known as 007 agents if you get this machine we are probably saving the world this tape will self destruct in 5...4...3...2...1... (BEEP) You've called our number, but we don't care. If we did, we'd be here. So leave a message at the tone, and we'll call u back, when your not home. Hi, I am a machine. Why do you hate talking to me? I never hurt anyone. Can we talk after the beep? HI SORRY WE CANT COME TO THE PHONE...WE'RE ALL GETTING DRUNK.IF YOU LEAVE A MESSAGE WE'LL GET BACK TO YOU AS SOON AS WE SOBER UP.....(IN THE BACK GROUND LAUGHTER...SUCKED IN!)

How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Leave a message and I'll get back to you...

"Hi, this is Jackie, it hurts me inside to know I missed your call...OUCH. Leave your painful message after the beep."

Hi, you have reached Jerry McGuire. Show me the message! Show me the message!

If you are hearing this tape, then I'm not here now. Please leave your name, number, D.O.B, address, social security number, age, height, weight, how many children you have, what sex you are, your mother’s maiden name, and the date and time when you called me. If you are still listening, then whatever you have to say must be very important. Please leave a message after the beep.

Susan and I are not here right now. We're in the bathroom having some fun. She likes it up and down and I like it back and forth. Leave a message at the beep and we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished brushing our teeth. Thank you.

Oh my, my life is so boring as an answering machine. My owners life
is so much better & that’s why they're not here. All I can say is leave me a
message and I'll THINK about giving it to the owners.

Hi, This is Jenny. Press 1 if you are going to ask me out, 2 if you want to apologize for something, 3 if you just called to say I am a princess, and 4 if you are going to say something else.(Will be automatically deleted!) Thanks

Hi, you have reached _(phone number)__ you have a chance to win one million dollars if you can answer the following 1. What is your name? 2. What is your phone number? 3. Why did you call this number?

Hey, it's ___
Sorry you can't get through
Leave your name and your number
And I'll get back to you

Can’t take your call, I'm hiding from the men in white coats. We've been playing hide'n'seek for weeks, and they still haven't found me! Tee Hee Hee! Leave a message?

Roses are red booger's are green please leave your message on this stupid machine

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