All Bill Maher Quotes
To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's the person who tells you the truth. That's who my real friends are. So, you know, I think as far as our country goes, we need more people who will do that.
Bill Maher
51% of people like this quote
Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the "will of the people" goes out the window.
Bill Maher
51% of people like this quote
I don't want my president to be a TV star. You don't have to be on television every minute of every day - you're the president, not a rerun of 'Law & Order'. TV stars are too worried bout being popular and too concerned about being renewed.
Bill Maher
51% of people like this quote
The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says they just want to introduce one last-minute load of crap.
Bill Maher
51% of people like this quote
Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious.
Bill Maher in
Religion
51% of people like this quote
Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show.
Bill Maher
51% of people like this quote
We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think religion stops people from thinking. I think it justified crazies.
Bill Maher
51% of people like this quote
This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich said that for the entire month of June, he will stop blowing hot air.
Bill Maher
50% of people like this quote
They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed.
Bill Maher
50% of people like this quote
Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids.
Bill Maher
50% of people like this quote
Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
Bill Maher
50% of people like this quote
Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'
Bill Maher
50% of people like this quote
Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.
Bill Maher
50% of people like this quote
Related authors