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All Conan O'Brien Quotes
Pamela Anderson Lee released a statement confirming that she has had her breast implants removed. Doctors say that Pamela is doing fine and that her old implants are now dating Charlie Sheen.
Conan O'Brien

48% of people like this quote
Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'
Conan O'Brien

48% of people like this quote
Apparently the new high-tech Star Wars toys will be in stores any day now. The toys can talk and are interactive, so they can be easily distinguished from Star Wars fans.
Conan O'Brien

48% of people like this quote
In New York, we had primary elections for mayor. To improve their chances, all five candidates changed their name to Rudy Giuliani.
Conan O'Brien

48% of people like this quote
A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'
Conan O'Brien

47% of people like this quote
In West Virginia yesterday, a man was arrested for stealing several blow-up dolls. Reportedly, police didn't have any trouble catching the man because he was completely out of breath.
Conan O'Brien

47% of people like this quote
CBS news anchor Dan Rather has interviewed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. When asked what it was like to talk to a crazy man, Saddam said, 'It's not so bad.'
Conan O'Brien

47% of people like this quote
John Travolta said he sometimes lets his friends take control of his airplane even though they don't know what they're doing. Then Travolta said he often does the same thing with his career.
Conan O'Brien

46% of people like this quote
Tom Cruise's attorney said he is going to sue anyone who claims he is gay. In a related story, Ricky Martin's attorney has been hospitalized for exhaustion.
Conan O'Brien

45% of people like this quote
Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language.
Conan O'Brien

45% of people like this quote
Officials at the White House are saying that President Bush hasn't changed his schedule much since the war started. The main difference, they say, is that he's started watching the news and taping Sponge Bob.
Conan O'Brien

44% of people like this quote
If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.
Conan O'Brien

43% of people like this quote
Early on, they were timing my contract with an egg timer.
Conan O'Brien

41% of people like this quote
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