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All Dave Barry Quotes
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.
Dave Barry in
Funny
77% of people like this quote
I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.
Dave Barry
77% of people like this quote
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'
Dave Barry
62% of people like this quote
If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.
Dave Barry
60% of people like this quote
And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a new place to try to get to, and they came up with a new concept: the West.
Dave Barry
59% of people like this quote
American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.
Dave Barry
59% of people like this quote
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
Dave Barry in
Funny
59% of people like this quote
Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
Dave Barry
58% of people like this quote
Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.
Dave Barry
58% of people like this quote
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Dave Barry
58% of people like this quote
What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.
Dave Barry
58% of people like this quote
Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.
Dave Barry
58% of people like this quote
We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who in those days still had many of their original teeth.
Dave Barry
57% of people like this quote
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.
Dave Barry
57% of people like this quote
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