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All Dennis Miller Quotes
I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.
Dennis Miller in
Funny
60% of people like this quote
If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't be in this problem.
Dennis Miller
59% of people like this quote
Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red lights. Many congressmen this week opposed the use of the red light cameras incorrectly assuming they were being used for surveillance at local brothels.
Dennis Miller
56% of people like this quote
There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.
Dennis Miller
54% of people like this quote
Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.
Dennis Miller
53% of people like this quote
Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time.
Dennis Miller
51% of people like this quote
The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board.
Dennis Miller
51% of people like this quote
I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy.
Dennis Miller
51% of people like this quote
The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.
Dennis Miller
51% of people like this quote
Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?
Dennis Miller
50% of people like this quote
Just put down 9/11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves and keeping half the money. Those things I'm kind of conservative on.
Dennis Miller
50% of people like this quote
The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.
Dennis Miller
49% of people like this quote
A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away.
Dennis Miller
49% of people like this quote
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