Author details
All Elayne Boosler Quotes
Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?
Elayne Boosler
59% of people like this quote
You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.
Elayne Boosler
58% of people like this quote
Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?
Elayne Boosler
57% of people like this quote
I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.
Elayne Boosler
57% of people like this quote
The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.
Elayne Boosler
52% of people like this quote
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
Elayne Boosler
50% of people like this quote
My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.
Elayne Boosler
49% of people like this quote
When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.
Elayne Boosler
45% of people like this quote
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