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All Erma Bombeck Quotes
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me".
Erma Bombeck in
Life
82% of people like this quote
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
Erma Bombeck in
Dreams
78% of people like this quote
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
Erma Bombeck
77% of people like this quote
Never have more children than you have car windows.
Erma Bombeck in
Funny
71% of people like this quote
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
Erma Bombeck
64% of people like this quote
I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
Erma Bombeck
64% of people like this quote
For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.
Erma Bombeck
60% of people like this quote
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
Erma Bombeck
60% of people like this quote
Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.
Erma Bombeck
58% of people like this quote
Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
Erma Bombeck
58% of people like this quote
All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
Erma Bombeck
58% of people like this quote
There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M.
Erma Bombeck
58% of people like this quote
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