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All Erma Bombeck Quotes
House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.
Erma Bombeck
49% of people like this quote
People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.
Erma Bombeck
48% of people like this quote
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
Erma Bombeck
48% of people like this quote
I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
Erma Bombeck
48% of people like this quote
Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
Erma Bombeck
48% of people like this quote
Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
Erma Bombeck
48% of people like this quote
Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
Erma Bombeck
48% of people like this quote
In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
Erma Bombeck
48% of people like this quote
Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.
Erma Bombeck
48% of people like this quote
Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.
Erma Bombeck
47% of people like this quote
On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.
Erma Bombeck
47% of people like this quote
When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
Erma Bombeck
46% of people like this quote
One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.
Erma Bombeck
45% of people like this quote
Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.
Erma Bombeck
45% of people like this quote
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