All Groucho Marx Quotes
I've had a wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
Groucho Marx in
Celebrity Quotes
90% of people like this quote
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
Groucho Marx in
Funny
89% of people like this quote
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Groucho Marx in
Funny
86% of people like this quote
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Groucho Marx
85% of people like this quote
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
Groucho Marx in
Funny
76% of people like this quote
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
Groucho Marx
75% of people like this quote
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
Groucho Marx
75% of people like this quote
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx in
Funny
73% of people like this quote
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx in
Funny
66% of people like this quote
I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
Groucho Marx
64% of people like this quote
There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
Groucho Marx
63% of people like this quote
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