All Groucho Marx Quotes
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
Groucho Marx in
Marriage
61% of people like this quote
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Groucho Marx in
Funny
60% of people like this quote
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx
60% of people like this quote
No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
Groucho Marx
59% of people like this quote
I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
Groucho Marx
59% of people like this quote
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something.
Groucho Marx
58% of people like this quote
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
Groucho Marx
58% of people like this quote
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Groucho Marx
58% of people like this quote
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
Groucho Marx
58% of people like this quote
I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
Groucho Marx
57% of people like this quote
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Groucho Marx
57% of people like this quote
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