All Henny Youngman Quotes
How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.'
Henny Youngman
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This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!
Henny Youngman
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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
Henny Youngman
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She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.
Henny Youngman
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Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.
Henny Youngman in
Marriage
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
Henny Youngman
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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
Henny Youngman
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My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?
Henny Youngman
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Henny Youngman
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
Henny Youngman
50% of people like this quote
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