All Mark Twain Quotes
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
Mark Twain in
Politics
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Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
Mark Twain
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There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
Mark Twain
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Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
Mark Twain
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No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.
Mark Twain
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I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
Mark Twain
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Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.
Mark Twain
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All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.
Mark Twain
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A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
Mark Twain
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Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.
Mark Twain
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I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
Mark Twain
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There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.
Mark Twain
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Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
Mark Twain
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