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All P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.
P. J. O'Rourke in
Funny
80% of people like this quote
Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.
P. J. O'Rourke
78% of people like this quote
Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
P. J. O'Rourke in
Funny
78% of people like this quote
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
P. J. O'Rourke in
Government
68% of people like this quote
After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.
P. J. O'Rourke
60% of people like this quote
A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too.
P. J. O'Rourke
59% of people like this quote
If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.
P. J. O'Rourke
58% of people like this quote
Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us.
P. J. O'Rourke in
Government
58% of people like this quote
There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.
P. J. O'Rourke
57% of people like this quote
The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.
P. J. O'Rourke in
Politics
57% of people like this quote
In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.
P. J. O'Rourke
57% of people like this quote
The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you're rich.
P. J. O'Rourke in
Politics
57% of people like this quote
Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.
P. J. O'Rourke
56% of people like this quote
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