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All P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.
P. J. O'Rourke in
Funny
92% of people like this quote
Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.
P. J. O'Rourke
84% of people like this quote
Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
P. J. O'Rourke in
Funny
80% of people like this quote
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
P. J. O'Rourke in
Government
70% of people like this quote
The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you're rich.
P. J. O'Rourke in
Politics
60% of people like this quote
After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.
P. J. O'Rourke
59% of people like this quote
There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.
P. J. O'Rourke
58% of people like this quote
The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
P. J. O'Rourke
58% of people like this quote
A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too.
P. J. O'Rourke
58% of people like this quote
In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.
P. J. O'Rourke
57% of people like this quote
Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
P. J. O'Rourke
57% of people like this quote
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