All Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
Rodney Dangerfield in
Sports
89% of people like this quote
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
Rodney Dangerfield in
Funny
79% of people like this quote
I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
Rodney Dangerfield
71% of people like this quote
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
Rodney Dangerfield
67% of people like this quote
My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
Rodney Dangerfield
67% of people like this quote
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
Rodney Dangerfield
66% of people like this quote
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Rodney Dangerfield
65% of people like this quote
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
Rodney Dangerfield
65% of people like this quote
I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Rodney Dangerfield
63% of people like this quote
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
Rodney Dangerfield
63% of people like this quote
My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
Rodney Dangerfield
63% of people like this quote
I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.
Rodney Dangerfield
63% of people like this quote
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
Rodney Dangerfield
62% of people like this quote
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
Rodney Dangerfield
61% of people like this quote
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