Author details
All Roseanne Barr Quotes
A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego.
Roseanne Barr
58% of people like this quote
There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.
Roseanne Barr
58% of people like this quote
I figure if my kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job.
Roseanne Barr
55% of people like this quote
As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.
Roseanne Barr
55% of people like this quote
I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job.
Roseanne Barr
53% of people like this quote
Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.
Roseanne Barr
53% of people like this quote
I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people... that's why I don't like any of them.
Roseanne Barr
53% of people like this quote
Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.
Roseanne Barr
52% of people like this quote
My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.
Roseanne Barr
51% of people like this quote
Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?
Roseanne Barr
50% of people like this quote
I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That's what I told my kids. I think I must have been Adolf Hitler in a past life.
Roseanne Barr
49% of people like this quote
It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it.
Roseanne Barr
46% of people like this quote
Related authors