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All Steven Wright Quotes
I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
Steven Wright
54% of people like this quote
I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.
Steven Wright
54% of people like this quote
I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
Steven Wright
53% of people like this quote
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
Steven Wright
53% of people like this quote
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
Steven Wright
53% of people like this quote
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
Steven Wright
53% of people like this quote
I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
Steven Wright
53% of people like this quote
I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
Steven Wright
53% of people like this quote
I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
Steven Wright
53% of people like this quote
I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
Steven Wright
52% of people like this quote
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