Popular Funny Authors
George Bernard ShawMark TwainBenjamin FranklinAlbert EinsteinVictor Hugo VoltaireSamuel ButlerH. L. MenckenBertrand RussellWill RogersRonald ReaganSteven WrightMarilyn vos SavantDave BarryJosh Billings
Mae WestErma BombeckCarl SandburgCharles DickensHarry S. TrumanGroucho MarxW. C. FieldsHedy LamarrHelen RowlandArnold SchwarzeneggerBette DavisMitch HedbergFrank Lloyd WrightJames ThurberCalvin Coolidge
More » Random Funny Authors
Joan Rivers
Bill Cosby
Erma Bombeck
Stephen Fry
Samuel Goldwyn
Emo Philips
Katharine Hepburn
Chevy Chase
More authors »
All Funny Quotes
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin 
82% of people like this quote
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Steven Wright
82% of people like this quote
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
Steven Wright
81% of people like this quote
Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.
P. J. O'Rourke
80% of people like this quote
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
Ellen DeGeneres
80% of people like this quote
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
George Burns
80% of people like this quote
I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.
Samuel Goldwyn
80% of people like this quote
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
Oscar Levant
80% of people like this quote
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
Josh Billings
80% of people like this quote