“To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy.”
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Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?
Elayne Boosler 
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You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.
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I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.
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Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?
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