“I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.”
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It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.
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My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.
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I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough.
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I went to a record store and asked for 50 cent. They kicked me out for pan-handling.
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I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it.
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