“An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.”
Other Mitch Hedberg Quotes
When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.
Mitch Hedberg 
92% of people like this quote
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Mitch Hedberg
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My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?
Mitch Hedberg
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I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before.
Mitch Hedberg
73% of people like this quote