“Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.”
Other Mitch Hedberg Quotes
When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.
Mitch Hedberg 
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My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Mitch Hedberg
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My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?
Mitch Hedberg
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I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before.
Mitch Hedberg
73% of people like this quote