“With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.”
Other Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
Rodney Dangerfield 
90% of people like this quote
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
Rodney Dangerfield
86% of people like this quote
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
Rodney Dangerfield
85% of people like this quote
I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.
Rodney Dangerfield
73% of people like this quote