Top Stand-Up Quotes
While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.
Tim Allen
It's also that comedians don't have the kind of narcissism that actors have. They're writers who perform their own material. It's more interesting. And they're sexy because they risk more. Stand-up comedians risk more than anyone.
Rachel Weisz
My ambition was to stop waiting tables. That was how I measured success: finally, I was able to stop waiting tables, and I was able to pay the rent, and that was by being a stand-up comic. Not a very good stand-up comic, but good enough to make a living.
Graham Norton
I started to do a study on how not to do stand-up comedy. Yeah, it's lonely work. You die, you die alone. It's you, the light, and the audience. If you win, you win big. If you lose, you lose big time.
Jim Varney
The first time I did stand-up was the summer I was 17.
Sarah Silverman
Brion James 
Carlos Alazraqui 
Kate Clinton 
Aries Spears 
Dennis Miller 
Jim Dale 
Steve Buscemi 
Graham Norton 
Ian Mckellen 
Jo Brand All Stand-Up Quotes
While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.
Tim Allen 
66% of people like this quote
It's also that comedians don't have the kind of narcissism that actors have. They're writers who perform their own material. It's more interesting. And they're sexy because they risk more. Stand-up comedians risk more than anyone.
Rachel Weisz
62% of people like this quote
My ambition was to stop waiting tables. That was how I measured success: finally, I was able to stop waiting tables, and I was able to pay the rent, and that was by being a stand-up comic. Not a very good stand-up comic, but good enough to make a living.
Graham Norton
56% of people like this quote
I started to do a study on how not to do stand-up comedy. Yeah, it's lonely work. You die, you die alone. It's you, the light, and the audience. If you win, you win big. If you lose, you lose big time.
Jim Varney
56% of people like this quote
The first time I did stand-up was the summer I was 17.
Sarah Silverman
56% of people like this quote
Stand-up comics reflect less of a visual humor and more of a commentary.
Shel Silverstein
55% of people like this quote
I think a lot comes from having the experience of doing stand-up comedy. It allows you to figure out the psychology of an audience; what things are funny and not.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
54% of people like this quote
Stand-up comedy and poverty. Those were my two main endeavors.
Dave Foley
53% of people like this quote
I don't make much distinction between being a stand-up comic and acting Shakespeare - in fact, unless you're a good comedian, you're never going to be able to play Hamlet properly.
Ian Mckellen
53% of people like this quote
The success of any stand-up act comes out of life experience.
Howie Mandel
53% of people like this quote
Popular Stand-Up Authors
Jim CarreySteve BuscemiAdam SandlerDennis MillerWanda SykesHarvey PekarKeenen Ivory WayansBrion JamesJohnny VegasJo BrandDebra WilsonDylan MoranRachel WeiszAllan CarrKate Clinton
Sarah SilvermanJim DaleHowie MandelPatton OswaltShel SilversteinIan MckellenGraham NortonAries SpearsTim AllenCarlos AlazraquiAmy PoehlerPauly ShoreDave FoleyJim Varney
More »