have it easy. They can eat what bugs them.
Where there's smoke, you'll find my
wife cooking dinner.
Join the army! Travel the world, Meet interesting
people, and kill them.
Two rights do not make a wrong. They
make an airplane.
Me, Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
I was only looking at your name tag,
Quick, call a witch doctor! My witch is sick.
Strip mining prevents forest fires.
Endless Love: Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles
KENTUCKY: Five million people, Fifteen
Forget the Joneses. I can't keep up with the Simpsons.
Jesus saves sinners and redeems them for
cash and valuable prizes.
Can I trade this job for what's behind door #
For Sale: Taliban rifle. Never fired. Dropped
The faulty interface lies between the chair and
Hangover: The wrath of grapes.
is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
Life is Uncertain... Eat dessert first!
When women are depressed they either eat or go
shopping. Men invade another country.
* Elayne Boosler
Dont hate me because I'm beautiful - hate
me because your boyfriend thinks I'm beautiful!
Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like
having a peeing section in a swimming pool.
You can't scare me. I drive a school bus!
Life without danger is a waste of oxygen.
I've discovered that I often visit the
state of confusion, and I know my way around pretty well.
Smile, everyone loves a moron.
My family puts the "fun" back
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to
find a woman I don't like and just give her a house.
Ah, yes, divorce......., from the Latin
word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
-- Robin Williams.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I once thought
I was ugly, until I saw you!
Just because you have one doesn't mean
you have to act like one!
My computer NEVER cras...DOH!.
Creativity is great, but plagiarism is
never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
How does Avon find so many women willing
to take orders?
Looking for a helping hand? There's one on your
My mind works like lightning... one brilliant
flash and it's gone.
Never trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel
Sometimes you're the bug, and sometimes
you're the windshield..
Next time you wave at me, use more than one finger,
I would like to help you out. Which way
did you come in?